I started writing a book a few days ago. I don't even know why I did it. I happened to be working in another project and couldn't find the way to keep on with it. I found myself stuck, so I just opened a new document and started writing. I didn't have the slightest idea of where it would lead me to. I just wrote. A few pages later I realised I had came up with what seemed to be the first chapters of a novel. I also wrote some random chapters that didn't follow the previous ones, as I was writing without an order or plan of any kind. But those chapters also had their place in a story I wasn't even aware I was writing.
Then, all of a sudden, I saw it clearly. I don't mean to sound arty at all. I know perfectly the writer's craftsman side. However at that point I foresaw a glimpse of the work, a clear yet fleeting vision of what I wanted to write. I also understood many things of the way those chapters were written, and also why did I started writing in Catalan, and how did I wanted to write. I don't mean to convince anybody I started writing a lifetime's masterpiece or even that I'll finish it -I intend to, though-, I just want to share that moment of illumination, when everything falls into place and you see crystal clear what you want to do, the way you want to do it and, what's more important, your reasons to do it. I won't explain them here -they're too personal-, but I would like to point out something that's so obvious we sometimes forget: Knowing your motivations when creating is also getting to know yourself, and it may help improving both you and your work. Or, as Hank Moody put it on Californication, "I'm not going to a fuckin' shrink! I'm a writer, we don't get that shit away like that, we're better than that!"
I may post an excerpt later on, once I'll have everything clearly defined. After all, the vision you get only lasts for an moment. Now's time to take a leap into the creative vortex and let things flow, without ever forgetting it doesn't always flow and that, even when it does, it's still a matter of working hard. I actually had a quite important block right after that, as if that "revelation" had spent most of my creative energy and I needed time to be productive. But then again, it's just my way to explain it. I could be completely wrong but it's OK as it works fine for me. As always I'll keep you up to date with this project... after all I haven't said much about it yet.
Fa uns quants dies vaig començar a escriure un llibre. No sé per què ho vaig fer. Estava treballant en un altre projecte i no trobava la manera d'avançar. Em vaig sentir encallat, de manera que vaig obrir un document nou i vaig començar a escriure. No tenia ni la més mínima idea d'on em duria. Unes quantes pàgines després em vaig adonar que tenia a les mans el que semblaven els primers capítols d'una novel·la. També vaig escriure uns quants capítols que no seguien els anteriors, escrivint sense cap tipus d'ordre ni de pla. Però aquells capítols també teníen el seu lloc en una història que ni tan sols era conscient d'estar escrivint.
Aleshores, de sobre, ho vaig veure clar. No voldria sonar massa "artista". Conec perfectament la vessant artesana de l'escriptor. Tot i això, en aquell moment vaig veure un flaix de l'obra, una visió clara però fugaç del que volia escriure. També vaig entendre moltes coses de la manera com havia escrit aquells capítols i també per què havia començat a escriure en català. No vull pas convèncer a ningú de que he començat a escriure l'obra magna de la meva vida o ni tan sols de que l'acabaré -tot i que espero fer-ho-, només volia compartir aquest moment d'il·luminació, quan tot encaixa i veus perfectament què vols fer, com ho vols fer i, sobretot, les teves raons per fer-ho. No les explicaré aquí -són massa personals-, però voldria destacar quelcom que, de tant obvi, de vegades oblidem: Coneixer les pròpies motivacions a l'hora de crear també és conèixer-se a un mateix, i pot ajudar a que milloris tant tu com la teva feina. O, com ho va expressar en Hank Moody a Californication: "No aniré a un cony de psiquiatre! Sóc escriptor, no ens treiem la merda del damunt d'aquesta manera, som millors que tot això!"
Segurament penjaré algun fragment més endavant, quan ho tingui tot definit clarament. Al cap i a la fi la visió només dura un instant. Ara és l'hora de llançar-me al remolí creatiu i deixar que tot flueixi, sense oblidar que no sempre flueix i que, fins i tot quan ho fa, encara és qüestió de treballar fort. De fet vaig patir un bloqueig bastant important després d'allò, com si aquella "revelació" hagués gastat la major part de la meva energia creativa i necessités temps per tornar a ser productiu. Però, al cap i a la fi, aquesta només és la meva manera d'explicar-ho. Podria estar completament equivocat, però mentre em funcioni a mi ja em sembla bé. Com sempre us mantindré al dia d'aquest projecte... fet i fet encara no n'he dit gran cosa.
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